My Name is Gr!

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Posted 1 month ago

My Little Confusion: A Visual Presentation for My Roommate Regarding My Little Pony

Dear Roommate,

It has come to my attention that you and I have developed differing opinions regarding the immensely popular My Little Pony franchise. In order to make sure you understand my distress over the changes that have occurred in the appearance of these wonderful ponies, allow me to show you the following images. Also, I am bored at work so just read it.

This is a horse. Standing above 14 hands, this delightful creature has given rise to the magical existence of the unicorn, the Pegasus, and the unisus (unicorn with wings). Having been an extremely avid member of the elusive clan of horse-girls, trust me that this animal is ballin. I have since retired from my horse-girl status, but the honor for the horse still remains.

This is a pony. Specifically, this image is of a Dartmoor pony. Many ponies look like this. See me if you need any future clarification about the differences between ponies and horses.

This is what the My Little Pony characters looked like when I was growing up. Note the similar, yet slightly altered, head shape of these ponies in comparison to the the pony featured previously and the enlargement of the eyes on these ponies to promote cuteness.

This is what the toys looked like. I happen to own the first one, who was always the bad pony that tried to kill the others due to her wild mane and association with the devil bird, the raven, which is iluustrated on her pony butt-stamp. This fact is unrealted to my overall point.

This is what the ponies on the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic look like. Note the extreme eye enlargement and the altering of the ears to resemble perhaps dog ears. These indeed give the cuteness factor, but at the same time distract from what the animal actually is. Most interesting is the lack of facial similarity to an actual pony, for these ponies have turned up noses resembling the Who people associated with the story of the Grinch in Whoville. Another good comparison would perhaps be a small dog like the Jack Russel Terrier.

Fore reference, here is what the toys for these ponies look like. Note the horribly disfigured appearance of the first “pony.” (Seriously, it looks like a balding kinkajou that got shanked by a handful of chicken feathers (In my opinion))

As you can see, the ponies in this franchise have developed into quite different creatures. There is nothing wrong with this, but I must present my objection to the portrayal of an animal that I care deeply for in such a manner. The fact that many of these ponies are unicorns, pegusi, or unusi further increase my distress. If it were a show just about ponies, I might be able to handle it, but it is not.

I applaud your embracing of a show that so wonderfully illustrates the concepts I myself hold dear, such as magical ponies living in harmony with nature and the fact that friendship is indeed magic. However, although I am not trying to belittle this program, I regrettable must refrain from viewing it. It would please me greatly to view the original My Little Pony film and revel with you in the magic of ponies and friendship, if this opportunity arose. In the meantime, I apologize for my lack of consideration towards a show that you enjoy. I trust that with this informative presentation, however, that you will better understand the reasoning behind my outbursts.

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